Why ADHD is misunderstood: What parents should know before a diagnosis
In a world of constant notifications, short videos and viral ‘ADHD checklists,’ it’s no surprise that more and more parents are wondering if their distracted child might actually have ADHD. But is it really ADHD or something else entirely?
In Episode 2 of Dr. B & Friends, Dr. Anthony Benigno of AB Psych Consulting and co-host Jordan cut through the confusion with a powerful message: Not every attention problem is a disorder. This episode is a must-listen for any parent, educator or caregiver who wants to support their child with clarity and confidence, without jumping to labels too quickly.
Below is a deeper dive into the wisdom Dr. B shared and why this episode matters more than ever in today’s distracted world.
ADHD vs. distraction: Knowing the difference
If your child has trouble focusing, fidgets in class, or seems to daydream constantly, it’s easy to wonder if ADHD is to blame. But Dr. B reminds us that environment plays a huge role. Today’s kids are growing up in an age of ‘scroll culture,’ where attention spans are shrinking by design.
That doesn’t mean they have a disorder. To qualify as ADHD, symptoms must not only be present across multiple settings (like home and school) but must also disrupt daily functioning. Without this disruption, we may be looking at a normal response to overstimulation, not a mental health condition.
Many parents report that their child can focus intently on preferred activities like video games or drawing but struggle with tasks like homework or chores. Dr. B explains that this is a hallmark of interest-based attention, not a contradiction to ADHD. Children with ADHD often hyperfocus on stimulating or enjoyable activities while finding it difficult to engage in low-interest tasks. Understanding this difference can help parents reframe what looks like laziness as a neurological pattern that needs support, not punishment.
What clinicians actually look for
According to Dr. B, ADHD has two core symptom areas:
- Inattention – trouble staying focused, finishing tasks or following instructions
- Hyperactivity/Impulsivity – difficulty sitting still, blurting answers and acting without thinking
But those symptoms must be present before age 12, across different environments, and interfere with academic or social development. That’s why one of the most common misconceptions, especially among adults, is that ADHD can suddenly appear later in life. It can’t. If it wasn’t present during childhood, it’s not ADHD.
Misdiagnosis is common and costly
Whether it’s a child bored in class, struggling with an undiagnosed learning disability, or navigating anxiety, symptoms can mimic ADHD. That’s why a rushed diagnosis can be damaging.
Dr. B highlights the real risks:
- Wrong medications
- Unnecessary stigma
- Missed root causes
- Frustration for the whole family
The solution? A careful, expert-guided assessment that considers all possible causes—not just the obvious ones.
Environment, sleep and emotional health matter
Is your child struggling with sleep? Anxious about school? Sitting next to their crush? These and other ‘invisible’ factors can lead to attention problems.
Dr. B urges families to take a holistic view – looking at lifestyle, routines, and mental health before assuming a disorder is to blame.
One factor that often gets overlooked is sensory input. For children with sensory sensitivities, loud classrooms, scratchy uniforms or even flickering fluorescent lights can overload their systems and make it impossible to concentrate. These reactions can look like inattention but may stem from how a child’s nervous system is processing their environment. Recognizing these nuances helps families and schools adjust the setting, not just the student.
Free Pre-Assessment Questionnaire
Not sure where to begin? AB Psych offers a free online pre-assessment to help parents sort through early signs. It’s a first step, not a diagnosis, but it offers clarity and points families in the right direction.
Participate in the Pre-Assessment Questionnaire to see whether further evaluation is needed.
Support, not stigma
A powerful theme running through this episode is the idea of support systems. Dr. B explains how simple accommodations like changing a student’s seat or using visual cues can make a world of difference. But these supports only come with clarity, not confusion.
Dr. B’s eBook, Making Friends With Your Child’s Brain is another resource to help parents and educators build structure, reduce stress, and champion their child’s growth, whatever their needs may be. Download the eBook.
For adults: Late diagnosis explained
More adults are asking if they have ADHD. Dr. B makes it clear: if symptoms weren’t present in childhood, it’s not ADHD. But that doesn’t mean their struggles aren’t real. Anxiety, burnout or mismatched jobs can all affect focus.
The takeaway? Understand your history. And again, get assessed by a trained professional.
Dr. B also emphasizes that clarity should lead to action. Whether it’s through coaching, Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) or school-based support plans, families have more tools than ever to help their child thrive. But these tools only work if the underlying challenges are correctly identified. A diagnosis should not be a label to carry, it should be a map that guides meaningful next steps.
Clarity is key
The message of Episode 2 is simple yet powerful: Don’t guess. Get clarity. Whether your child is struggling at school or you’re an adult wondering about your own focus, accurate information and careful diagnosis are essential.
This episode is not about fear. It’s about empowerment. It’s about equipping families to understand attention challenges in all their complexity and to make decisions that lead to growth, not guesswork.
Watch/ Listen now to Dr. B & Friends. You can also read helpful insights into mental health on our blog.
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